The Helpers

“Look for the helpers, you will always find people who are helping.”

Fred Rogers

Thanking all of my helpers who have been there the last few weeks! You know who you are. I am truly grateful for all of the love and support that is pouring in from every corner. With everything from my grandpa to this week’s car accident and total loss of the blue bomber Aveo. The cards, warm wishes, positive vibes, and genuine human kindness have been overwhelming. Thank you for the hands, the shoulders, the hugs, the tears, the strength, the laughter, the borrowed vehicles, the offers of kindness at every corner. My body hurts but my heart is so full. Every day I remain shocked at how much love is in the world and I can’t even begin to describe the love I have felt. I am touched in so many ways. Always look for the helpers – always be a helper.

RIP my little blue gumdrop bomber. No UPS man will be able to buff out the dings you now have.

My strength has been tested over the past few weeks, and again I find myself so grateful for triathlon. So grateful for music. So grateful for humans. Renewed faith in the human race. Renewed faith in myself and always the ability to see strength.

Dear Triathlon:

Welcome back. I present to you a healthy and happy woman who is ready to respect you again. No longer sick with stress and lack of sleep. I apologize for neglecting you for a few months while I stressed, fretted, and got sick over things that were perfectly in my control. You have my attention and devotion once again. I look forward to smashing goals with you all summer long. Thank you for the most recent bike hill adventure – you reminded me how strong I am and of the joy I find in biking. While I may not have a car to get to the pool for a while – I promise you I will find a way.

Dear Clarinet:

Hello there. How are you? I never neglected you, but I lost some joy. I am sorry that I didn’t turn to you in times of need. Music, my soul, my love. I took for granted the fact that I got to play in an orchestra concert for the first time in years. I’m sorry I let that joy be dimmed.  Picking you up and letting my heart soar through you is a gift that I never want to take lightly. I won’t do it again.

Dear Aveo:

We’ve been through a lot together, you and I. My first real adult purchase. I am sorry that you had to go out this way. Although it wasn’t my fault, I wish you had received a royal send-off on your final journey as car. Thank you for accompanying me just recently on my Ironman journey and for driving me to my very first “big girl” job all those years ago. Thanks for forcing me to learn how to drive stick shift. I got you for that reason and taught myself well. I’ll remember the good times. 🙂

Dear Mumford & Sons:

Whoop! Windows down time and some singing in the car never felt so good…I’ll get a new car for you soon enough.

Dear Me:

Hi. Remember you? Here you are again. Your life journey continues with a few new scars. Look at your helpers – your wonderful friends, family, coach, training partners, co-workers, musician co-horts. Remember them and their love for you. Some surprised you! Some you hadn’t spoken to in years! You made an impact on their lives at some point in time and there they were. You never had to say a word. Forget who you are again? I think not. Your smile is fierce. Your laughter and your joy are everywhere again. Here you are with another brand new triathlon journey. Here you are enjoying your beautiful music. Here you are getting a chance to play at the Kennedy Center. Here you are with the joy and beauty that is life. The ups, the downs, and the everythings in between. Enjoy your reading again. Earlier nights. Morning workouts. That beautiful sunrise. You are you. 🙂 It’s pretty cool.

The music. The sport. The life. But most of all…the helpers. The helpers who are there but who also give you the strength to enjoy your moments of solitude. Those nights you do just enjoy being alone with thoughts and mind. You need no one else but even in your moments of quiet, the helpers are still there.

When you are a helper to others, there will always be the helpers for you.

Look for them. Listen for them. Help them too.